Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize