why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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