I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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