At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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