I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I deserve this hangover.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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