she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize