i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
