Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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