Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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