why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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