i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize