it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
