i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
