You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
