My sheets look like a crime scene.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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