She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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