Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
