Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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