just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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