I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
