think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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