Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
