Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize