I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
