You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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