I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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