when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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