Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
