I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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