you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
