It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize