Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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