I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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