Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
