Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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