I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
