Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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