They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize