This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
smell my finger.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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