just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
