and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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