nut hugger
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
