Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
