there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
