woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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