i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
