Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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