It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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