I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
