The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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