I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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