I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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