dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
