I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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