it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
