is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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