did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
