You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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