Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
