cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
